Climbing Out of the Vortex

I woke yesterday, on Valentine's Day, with a broken heart. How could this be? It's the day of love, for crying out loud (which I was doing plenty of). But it's really no surprise. My day started by looking at a photo of my sweet mom, who passed away in May. I touched the photo longing for her embrace or even just a squeeze of her hand or just that sweet look as she told me again that I have the most beautiful name. But she's not here... and my dad is 800 miles away, weak and ill, and in his own waning days. sigh

It's doesn't take a PhD to know that I've been feeling blue as a result of a year of loss and grief. On the toughest days it feels like I've been sucked into a vortex, tossed around like a buoy struggling through violent waters, emerging worn out and gasping for air.

Doing a quick search on the subject, I discovered a couple of different grief models. There's the Grief Wheel, which describes the stages of loss, shock, deterioration, protest, disorganization, reorganization, and recovery. And there's the Kübler-Ross model, first introduced in the 1969 book On Death & Dying. I read this in college years ago, but now that it's so relevant, I'm paying closer attention. In the book, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defined five stages of grief and loss — denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

She said these stages are experienced by those dealing with terminal illness, death, divorce, job loss, chronic illness, or any catastrophic personal loss. While individuals may not experience all of the stages or in the order listed above, Kübler-Ross believed a grieving person will always experience at least two, including acceptance. 

Both grief models show that I'm not cracking up, I won't be forever sad, and I'm not alone. In fact, there are now grief support groups around the country. Good to know.

And alas, Cupid did not desert me on the day of love. I was quickly pulled out of my funk with the sweetest note from my honey plus a bouquet of white roses and a lovely home-made dinner. (Thanks, Sweetie!)

It also helps me remember that you just can't keep a naturally happy person like me down. I'll climb out of the grief vortex as many times as needed. And while I'm doing so, I'll think of my sweet parents who so positively shaped my character, molded my spirit and touched my heart.

Leslie Hamp, Your Partner In Prosperity
www.lesliehamp.com

Comments

[Debra Lewis]

Thanks for sharing your sorrow, Leslie. What a sweet tribute to your parents.